It Should Have Been Me
by CBloom2
Summary: Halstead brothers because we don't see enough of them together. A night out for the brothers turns deadly. Obviously includes Det Jay Halstead (but he doesn't appear on character list).
1. Chapter 1

**Just a small one shot that popped into my head.**

 **It's something that I would love to see one day in one of the shows and quite frankly I am surprised that they haven't done something like this before. It's not based on anything that I've seen so no spoilers.**

 **I don't own anyone that you recognize – if I did then this would definitely happen in the show!**

 **It Should Have Been Me**

Detective Jay Halstead tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for his brother by the nurses station in Chicago Med. Maggie was chuckling as she watched him getting more and more agitated as he kept glancing at his watch, "I thought he was on his way," he groused, "I told him what time I was picking him up – the game will be starting soon!"

"I'm sure he'll be here as soon as he can Jay. He's probably somewhere saving a life…"

Jay dropped his head slightly, a little ashamed that all he was thinking about the game while his big brother could be facing a life or death situation.

"Go wait in the staff room, at least you can get a cup of coffee," Maggie suggested, so Jay did just that.

As he was about half way down his mug of coffee, his brother Will shuffled into the room, not seeing his brother.

"Rough day?" Jay asked, suppressing a smile when he saw the older man almost jump out of his skin.

"Yeah you could say that – I broke up with Nina," he told him.

"Whoa that was NOT what I was expecting to hear you say," Jay commented, "What the hell Will?"

"I've been thinking about what you said the other night, with regards to Natalie and my feelings towards her – and I realized that I do still have deep feelings for her and that it wouldn't be fair to Nina so I told her…"

Will's head dropped as he began to take off his white coat, "How did she take it?" Jay asked cautiously.

"How do you think?"

"Well judging by your face – not well."

Will just shook his head sadly. Jay sighed deeply. He knew his big brother had done the right thing in telling Nina the truth, even if the young woman didn't believe it just now, but he hated seeing him so down, "You still up for the game?"

For a second, Jay thought he was going to decline, but he also saw the moment when he decided to go, "Yeah course I am. Be nice to spend some time with you and just forget that I've got to clear my stuff out of her apartment by the weekend."

He threw on his jacket, closed his locker then patted the younger man's shoulder as they left the staff room.

Jay lagged behind a little so that he could get a measure of how his brother was with his body language. The slump of the shoulders was all he needed to see to know how the older man was feeling, "Look Will if you'd rather not go…"

"I want to go," was all he said as he strode out of the building.

"Hey Will, for what it's worth, I think you did the right thing even though it was hard. She'll realize that you were trying to spare her more heartache later on and she might even thank you for it…but it may take a while.

Will smiled wryly, "Yeah perhaps…" then strode on ahead.

"Hey Detective Halstead!"

Both Halstead brothers turned together. A young man, in his early twenties, was walking purposefully towards them, hands in his pockets. Both brothers immediately tensed, "Do I know you?" Jay queried.

"No but you know my father…you put him in jail!" the young man yelled as he took a hand out of one of his pockets.

"GUN!"

Time seemed to stand still for Jay. He became aware of a flash, a bang, then he was on the floor. He stayed there for a moment, waiting for the flash of pain to strike his body. None seemed forthcoming, so he slowly raised his body up to see Will frantically working on the shooter's body.

"Will…" he croaked.

Will's head shot up at his voice, visibly relieved to see him talking, "What…?" Jay began.

"This guy," he said as he inclined his head towards the younger man, "Produced a gun and was about to shoot you. I managed to push you out of the way just as he pulled the trigger. It seems you both pulled a trigger at the same time which is why he is in this position. Are you ok?"

Jay got to his feet, looking all around him, waiting for pain that wasn't forthcoming, "Yeah I am…you pushed me out of the way?"

Will nodded as he started pressing on the chest of the prone gunman in an effort to get his heart restarted, "Are YOU ok?" Jay asked.

Will just nodded once more, his attention fully focused on the patient, "You better make it," Jay could hear Will mumbling, "I want to know why you came after my brother."

Presently, they were joined by Dr Ethan Choi, who immediately loaded the patient onto a gurney.

"Male, early twenties, gunshot wound to the chest, no pulse, began CPR…" Will listed as he followed Ethan and the man who had tried to kill his brother. Once inside, Ethan turned to Will, "Do you need checking over?" He asked, glancing at Jay, who immediately picked up on the message, "Yeah come on Will…" he said as he caught hold of his brother's arm. The older man wrenched his arm out of his brother's grasp, his stance determined.

"At least let's go to the… Will, what's wrong?" Jay had been watching his brother carefully so he noticed the minute change in his demeanor. Will turned slightly towards the younger man glancing down towards his outstretched hand – one that was red…

Jay frantically began to unfasten his jacket, a pit forming in his stomach, hoping against hope that what was running through his mind was just him being overdramatic. Unfortunately, as he peeled the layers of clothing, he noticed a crimson stain getting bigger and bigger. When he got to Will's blue shirt, the stain was still spreading…  
"Jay I don't feel right…" was all Will managed to whisper as his legs suddenly began to give way, his brother breaking his fall.

Ethan glanced up, hearing the commotion, "Get him next door! Maggie – page Dr Rhodes!" he ordered.

Jay didn't need telling twice. He scooped his brother up in his arms and laid him on the next bed. Before he had chance to process what was going on, he felt himself being gently ushered out of the room by Maggie, who was mumbling reassurances that they would do everything they could for his brother.

Jay watched numbly as Dr Rhodes and Dr Reese worked on his brother. They were meticulous and methodical in their approach and Jay knew that his brother was in the best hands.

"Jay…" he heard. He turned to see Sharon Goodwin appear by his side, "What happened?" she asked kindly.

The young detective opened his mouth to speak, but found that no words would come out. He cleared his throat, "We were walking to the car when this guy…" he inclined his head towards the neighboring room, "Came out of nowhere shouting something about putting his father in jail – he pulled a gun – I didn't see it," Jay stopped to take a deep breath. Sharon laid a gentle hand on his arm, "Will pushed me out of the way. I must have got a shot off, but obviously Will took a bullet…it should have been me."

Suddenly the enormity of what had happened began to sink in and Jay felt his legs weaken as the adrenaline left his body. He slumped into a chair by the side of the door. Sharon stood next to him with a hand on his shoulder as she watched her doctors working to save one of their own.

Before they had a chance to say anything else, Connor came to stand by the door, taking off his gloves and throwing them away. Jay jumped to his feet staring at the doctor, trying to work out his expression, but Connor wasn't giving anything away, "He's stable Jay, but he needs to go to theatre. We believe that the bullet missed his vital organs but there is a bleed so we have to stop it. I'm certain…"

He was interrupted by shrieking alarms and Sarah's cry for him to get back in the room.

Once again Jay found himself staring helplessly as the two doctors fought to save his brother's life. He gaze was fixed on his to pale sibling. He had never known Will to be so still and that scared him.

He became vaguely aware of a voice trying to get his attention. He turned, surprised to see Erin and Voight by his side, "You ok?" Erin questioned, concern obvious in her expression.

"Erm, yeah. I'm fine. Will…" he stopped as Connor and Sarah began to wheel the bed towards him, "He's stable again but we really need to get that bleed sorted. I'm going to perform the surgery Jay – try not to worry," Connor told him kindly.

"Easier said than done…" the young detective mumbled as he ran a trembling hand over his face, "Thanks Connor."

As the head of the bed passed him, Jay managed to reach out and squeeze his brother's shoulder, "Hold on Will…please."

With that, he was gone. Jay suddenly felt alone, even though he was surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the hospital. Erin took hold of his arm and led him into the staff room, closely followed by Ethan, "The shooter didn't make it. I'm sorry, I know you would have wanted to question him," he told them sadly.

"No worries. Thanks Ethan," Erin said with a grateful smile.

Jay's head shot up, "I haven't told Nat or Nina…but I don't know who I should tell. Will had just broken up with Nina after he told her that he still had feelings for Natalie. I don't know…" Jay took out his phone, but just stared at it.

"Hey, hey," Erin said kindly, "Don't worry. I'll call them both and I'll explain to Natalie then it's up to them what they do next – here drink this," she told him as she passed him a mug of coffee.

Once Erin had left the room, Jay was left feeling smothered by the deafening silence. His mind was working overtime. His brother was fighting for his life after taking a bullet that was meant for him. What if he didn't make it? His brother's blood would be on his hands. Without warning, nausea built and he found himself throwing up in the nearest waste bin.

When he opened his eyes, he was surprised to find a glass of water in front of him, "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"Don't worry I can soon have that cleared up," Maggie assured him, "You ok now?"

Jay nodded, "Yeah – it just all got a bit much you know?" He ran a still trembling hand through his hair, "I've been to war you know – I've seen stuff of nightmares, but this… God Maggie, he took a bullet for me."

Maggie smiled sadly, "I know and he would do it again in a heartbeat just as you would for him."

Jay smiled wryly knowing that the young woman was completely right.

"Jay! Where is he?" A voice that he was hoping he wouldn't hear that night broke the silence.

"He's in theatre at the moment Nina…"  
"But he's going to be alright isn't he?" she demanded, her bottom lip quivering.

"They are doing everything that they can," Maggie finished for the exhausted detective.

Nina looked at Maggie, fear clearly etched on her features, knowing the company line when she heard it.

Before anyone could say anything else – the door opened…

 **So much for it being a one shot. One more chapter should do.**

 **Please review and tell me if I've got the characters right. I realize that Jay and Will never seem to be particularly close on screen which is why we have fan fic.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the first chapter - so glad you enjoyed it.**

 **Apologies if I get some things wrong - thank you to the reviewer who told me that an operating theatre is the OR in America. I live in UK so I don't always know that sort of stuff. Neither do I know anything medical so I tend not to go into to much detail so that I can't get it wrong.**

 **This is the last chapter of my 'oneshot' - and it's basically going to be feel good fluff between the brothers. Apologies to people hoping for Manstead - it's only going to be between the lines in this.**

 **Enjoy.**

 **Chapter 2**

"He's going to be just fine Jay," Connor Rhodes said as soon as he walked through the door.

Jay let out a breath that he hadn't realized that he had been holding just as Nina burst into tears. Jay took hold of his brother's now ex - girlfriend and brought her into an embrace.

"As I said before, the bullet missed the vital organs but it did cause a tear which was bleeding profusely. I was able to repair it and although he will be uncomfortable for a few weeks, he should make a full recovery."

Jay, who was slightly rocking the still upset Nina in comfort, looked up at the young doctor, "I don't know how to thank you Connor..."

"You might not feel like that in a minute when I tell you that when he's released he will need someone with him to make sure he tows the line..."  
Nina lifted her tear streaked face to look at Jay, who knew exactly what she was saying just by her expression, "That's not a problem doc, he can stay with me. I can use some personal time."  
Connor nodded, smiling, "Well the nurses are settling him into a room at the moment. I will send someone to fetch you when he's ready."

Jay got to his feet now that Nina had stopped crying, "Thanks again Connor," he said as he offered his hand.

"No worries Jay. Just glad I could help," he told him as he shook his hand before turning and leaving the couple to it.

"Thank you Jay - for not making it awkward," Nina sniffed.

"I'm sorry if it felt that way and I'm sorry it ended that way. He really cares about you Nina but..."

"Just not enough..." she whispered.

Jay sighed as he sat down next to her once more, "Look I don't pretend to know what goes on in my brother's mind - in fact I don't want to know, but I know that he agonized over this for weeks, but he knew that he couldn't carry on pretending that he didn't have feelings for Natalie. I think he's always had them."

Nina shook her head sadly, "I knew he had, even when he tried to assure me that he didn't I knew...Eventually I will be grateful that he didn't keep me hanging on and that he was honest with me, but just at the moment...God Jay he could have died thinking that I hate him!" With that she broke down with fresh tears. Jay put his arms around her once again resting his chin on the top of his head as she cried for the man she thought she loved.

He became aware of a figure who had stopped at the window. He glanced up to see Natalie looking in, her face a mask of concern and anxiety. Jay inclined his head flashing a smile at her hoping that she got the message. The smile she sent back his way assured him that she had - then she was gone.

"You can see him now," April gently opened the door so that they would follow.

Nina faltered, "I'm not sure..."  
Jay put an arm around her, "Come and see him - he'd like that."

A few minutes later, April was opening another door - one that gave them access to the person that had occupied their thoughts for the last few hours.

Jay flew straight to his brother's bedside coming to a halt by the side of him. He looked him up and down his throat constricting painfully seeing his normally gregarious brother laid out, unmoving. He ran a hand over his face as he glanced at the monitors, "He's going to be fine Jay," he heard April reassure.

"I know, it's just..." Jay found that he couldn't continue. April squeezed his shoulder in sympathy, then she brought him a chair over, "Here sit in this, I don't know how long it will be until he wakes up, but I get the feeling that you're not going home anytime soon," she smiled.

He shook his head, never taking his eyes off the sleeping man. He became aware of Nina by his side, "I'll swing by in the morning for his stuff if you want to get it ready tonight - I'm sure he wouldn't want me rooting about in his things."

Nina nodded tearfully, "Thanks Jay. I'm just sorry it ended this way," she told him as she gently moved stray hair from Will's face. She bent down to give him a gentle kiss then left the young detective to his thoughts.

"Well big brother, even unconscious you still cause me grief…thank god," he whispered the last words as he now caught hold of one of Will's hands in both of his. They had never been a 'touch feely' kind of family but he really needed the contact at the moment. He sat quietly just staring at the older man's pale face, only glancing now and again at the monitors that were reminding him that his brother was indeed still alive.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there but he found himself beginning to drift off to sleep. He hadn't been asleep long when he was jolted awake by memories of earlier events. He dragged in deep breaths just as the door opened.

"Hey Jay – you ok?" Ethan asked him, noticing the fine sheen of sweat on the detective's forehead.

Jay cleared his throat, "Yeah, just a bad dream that's all. Any idea when he might wake up?"

Ethan looked at the monitors and at Will's notes, shaking his head slightly, "No I'm sorry. He'll wake up when he's ready – but he WILL wake up that's what you've got to remember."

Jay sighed deeply as he nodded his head, "Yeah, it could have turned out so differently…"

Ethan nodded, "I'm sorry I couldn't save the shooter so you could find out why this happened."

"Don't worry Ethan. I know you tried your best. Probably a good job really because knowing Will as I do, well let's just say it might not have been pretty."  
Ethan smiled ruefully, "Yeah – I get that about him."

They fell silent for a while until," You were asking about him waking up," Ethan inclined his head towards the patient. Jay's stomach leapt as he saw his brother's eyes open a fraction. He jumped to his feet so that he was in Will's line of sight, "Hey there, finally decided to join us?" Jay tried to keep his tone light. Will offered him a tired smile, "You ok?" he managed to whisper.

Jay chuckled, "Am I ok? Have you seen who's lying in a hospital bed? Yeah Will, I'm fine thanks to you."  
"Good," Will's eyes began to close again, "Now go home – you look like crap," he told him as he drifted back into a restful sleep.

"He has got a point Jay," Ethan offered as he watched the young detective deflate slightly, "I'll get someone to call you if anything changes."

Jay looked to his brother once more. He knew that they were both right, "Ok, I'll be back in the morning," he told the young doctor.

"I don't doubt it," Ethan smiled.

Jay reached over and placed a gentle kiss on his brother's forehead, much to Ethan's surprise, "If you tell anyone Dr Choi…"  
"Scouts honor," the young man chuckled. Jay smiled, patting his shoulder as he left the room.

Jay was back the following morning, later than he'd hoped as he had been collecting Will's belongings from Nina's house as promised. He quickly made his way to his brother's room, surprised to see Natalie vacating it.

"Morning Nat, is he alright?" he enquired, a nervous feeling in his stomach took hold once more.

Natalie smiled happily, "Oh yes he's fine. He had a good night…he's so thoughtful and kind…"

"You been to the right room?" He joked as he exaggerated trying to look behind her, "Normally thoughtful and kind are not words I would use in the same sentence as my brother!"

"That's mean Jay. I told him I would visit later but he told me to spend that time with Owen…"  
"He loves that little man," Jay told her honestly.

"I know," she replied wistfully, "Well, I'd better be off – some of us have to work."

They gave each other a friendly hug then Natalie returned to her shift.

Jay entered Will's room to find his brother sat up with a half eaten breakfast tray in front of him. For a split second, Jay felt dizzy with the relief that flowed through him. To see his brother sat up, alert and having eaten brought home to him that he was going to recover.

"You coming in, or are you going to stand there staring all day?" His brother's voice reached his ears.

The young detective grinned as he made his way to his brother's bedside, "So you're doing better?"

"It would seem so."

"Saw Nat a minute ago. She told me that you were being thoughtful and kind…"

"I can be when I want to be," Will told him. He studied his younger brother, noticing the slightly red eyes and small frown, "Did you sleep at all?" He had to ask even though he knew what his brother's answer would be.

"I slept for a while. I…erm…collected your things from Nina's. Doc said that you would need to stay with someone when you get out. I assumed that would be me," he told him, trying to divert the attention off himself.

Will knew what he was doing but he indulged him anyway, "Yeah, thanks Jay. Sorry to put you in that position."

"It wasn't a problem. I talked to Nina yesterday…she'll be ok…"

They fell into an awkward silence. Jay suddenly found his hands very interesting, while Will watched.

"I hear he didn't make it – the shooter," Will smiled as Jay's head shot up, "Come on, we have to talk about it sooner or later," the older man said.

Jay just shook his head. He wasn't sure if he was ready to talk about it just yet, but Will wasn't going to give him the option.

"Did you find out why he wanted to kill you?"

Jay swallowed, "Erin called earlier – apparently I put his old man away for abuse and for some unknown reason the kid held it against me, even though the abuse was directed at him. Why the hell did you do it?"

The ferocity of the question threw Will, "Excuse me?"

"I'm the cop for god's sake, you're a doctor – I protect, you save lives!" Jay felt hot, angry tears form against his will.

"I _did_ save a life," Will told him quietly, " _Yours_!"

Jay finally looked at his brother, surprised to see his eyes shining, "Jay you're the only family that I give a damn about and who, I hope, gives a damn about me. I can't stand by when I see you in danger – I won't! You may protect the people of Chicago, but you're my kid brother and it's _my_ job to protect you."

Will laid back a little, exhausted by his outburst, but he knew that he had to get through to his brother somehow.

"But you could have died Will," was all Jay could offer, "That bullet was meant for me."  
"Which is exactly why I pushed you out of the way! That's my job as an older brother – and I would do it again in a heartbeat to keep you safe."

Once again, Jay found his hands interesting, until Will picked them in both of his, making sure that he had Jay's attention, "Look I know we're not big on emotion, but seeing as I saved your life you can humor me. You're my kid brother. I love you and I will do anything and everything to keep you safe. There I said it…"

Anything else that the older man wanted to say was cut off by an armful of younger brother, "I love you to Will. I can't tell you how scared I was yesterday," he mumbled into his brother's neck.

Will patted his back, "I'm going to be fine. Another few days and I'll be home annoying the living daylights out of you," Will told him, his smile waning slightly as exhaustion washed over him. Jay patted his arm as he got up to leave, "I wouldn't have it any other way bro," he commented.

"You might live to regret that," his brother told him as he let sleep wash over him. Jay laughed and left his brother to rest.

 **So that's it. This second chapter seemed to go on a bit so I cut some stuff out. I really just wanted a chance for our normally not so emotional (with each other) brothers to become emotional.**

 **Hope it was ok.**


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